GARY ARMY FTW

🧠 Why Join Gary’s Army?

🎯 Premium Catnip

Access to military-grade catnip and top-secret tactical treats.

🧘 Elite Training

Master:

• Advanced napping techniques
• Strategic box occupation
• Coordinated zoomies under pressure

📈 Career Growth

Climb the ranks from humble Private Paws to the prestigious Purr-gent Major.

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🐱‍🏍 Meet Commander Gary

With over 9 lives of combat experience, Commander Gary leads the world’s most feared feline force.

He’s a tactical mastermind in:

• Laser dot pursuit
• Yarn ball warfare
• Ambushing humans at 3 AM

Under his fearless command, the Feline Forces have:

• Defended cardboard bases
• Maintained vertical superiority on bookshelves
• Neutralized rogue cucumbers

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📝 Enlistment Requirements

✅ Basic Requirements:

• Must be a cat
• Age: 1-8 years old
• Jump height: 5x body height
• Excellent whisker coordination

⚔️ Specialized Units:

• Tactical Napping Division
• Box Infiltration Unit
• Counter-Cucumber Forces
• Red Dot Pursuit Squadron

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🐾 Ready to Serve?

Enlist yourself at gary.army today!